I Wish

It's maybe a post effect of my period. I am starting to be sensitive, again. There are things happening in this several weeks since I go back to Australia. I had so much fun that I can't explain by words. But somehow, deep down here, I feel lonely.

I don't regret what I do, and what I have chosen. I just, well I need some friends you know. I have these new friends, 3 Mexican girls. They are pretty, they are nice and smart. I love being around with them. When I'm with them, I feel like I'm having my long lost friend. Somehow, I am hoping that I am not the only UPH student who come here to study. I envy them, so much. They can have each other in the class. They can have each other to travel. They can have each other to shop. They can have each other to do whatever they want.

But me? I don't think anyone knows how I feel. I feel so lonely whenever I went to the class cause no one's talking to me. I am like an alien from other planet. They are different with my housemates. I feel stupid whenever the lecture ask me to do something, cause I don't really understand what's going on. Whenever I go or travel, I have to travel by my own self and I wish I can travel more. I only have few months here and I have spent the previous 4 months by only studying and make lots of friends in Blue Gum.

People never satisfy with what they have, that's kinda true. I want more. I want to travel. I wanna go to New Zealand, to Tasmania, to Melbourne, to Goldcoast. I wanna go everywhere but the thing is, I can't. I don't have time to and I don't have anyone to go with me, sounds stupid but yeah it's so pathetic.

I don't wanna come back to my country, I just wanna stay where I live. I want to do what I want. I just wish, I am not gonna be alone when I come back to finish my study. Such a pathetic life.

I just wish, and I really wish. It's only another 1.5 years and then, I can do whatever I wanna do.

I wish.