after spending almost 365 days on 2011, i have done so many things, starting from the failures, the disappoinments until the blessings and miracles :) tahun ini berat banget buat gue, berat banget. kalo boleh jujur, this is the hardest year, after 2006. banyak sekali kesalahan yang gue buat, banyak banget kekecewaan yang gue terima, banyak banget hal hal yang gue sesalkan, kenapa gue bodoh banget untuk melakukan hal hal macem itu. yet, gue juga menerima banyak sekali miracle selama 365 hari ini, dan i am so thankful for having those blessings :)
JANUARY, tahun ini diawali dengan tawa karena gue baru sampe di Paris, having my christmas and new year holiday with mommy and daddy. bulan ini, gue merasakan bahagia teramat sangat karena gue ketemu sama satu cowo, namanya KMG, well dia bukan pacar gue tapi i was in love with him. dia seseorang yang sangat gue kagumin pada saat itu, mungkin sampai sekarang, karena dia adalah sesosok orang yang sangat dewasa dan bijak menurut gue. tapi di akhir bulan ini, gue mulai menjauh dari dimas, he was my boyfriend back then, kenapa yaa? i thought he was annoying, apa karena KMG?
FEBRUARY, this is the love month! ada hari valentine, gue bahagia banget hari itu, well, i spent the day with genggong, sharing laugh and love, and dimas was there! and at night, dimas surprised me cause it was our 4th monthiversary and we had dinner. then, bulan ini juga michael di syuting sama christine hakim! nanti filmnya mau di bioskopin :) on 21st, it's dimas' bday :) i surprised him and he loved it! what a lovely month :D
MARCH, i went o Java Jazz with bebeb, karin and dhea terus nonton corinne bailey rae. after waiting for several years, finally she came and she sang Breathless, my fav song with dimas :) well, akhir bulan, dimas semakin annoying di mata gue, kenapa ya?
APRIL, ini bulan galau! i am in the middle of my weakness, gue lagi bingung setengah mati apakah gue harus ke aussie atau gaa. aussie is my dream, after dentisty and it's like no one supporting me and i was stucked. bulan ini juga, bulan gue sibuk2nya urusin study tour karena i was the head of it, and, exactly on the 22nd, itu Jumat Agung, gue putus sama dimas. ini hari kehancuran gue tiba.
MAY, sepertinya roda memang lagi berputar di bawah. gue ga bisa bangkit, nilai gue hancur berantakan, gue ga bisa belajar, even dimas masih baik sama gue, tapi hidup gue hancur. gue ngosongin lembar ujian TPP yang bernilai 5sks! LOL, crazy huh? end of this month, gue ada study tour dan karena masalah jealousy yg ditimbulkan dimas ke KMG, i ruined my study tour. i didn't rule well, i didn't have fun, i was a very bad example of a leader. gue bisa2nya loh sakit sesek nafas asma kejang pingsan masuk rumah sakir dua kali! semua orang jagain gue, harusnya gue yang jagain mereka, so stupid huh? so unprofessional.
JUNE, masih bulan galau karena dimas sepertinya main tarik ulur dan hidup gue bener2 brantakan. stiap pagi gue asma dan setiap pagi, gue muntah. this is worse than my 2006. in a month, i will go to australia dan visa gue belom kluar, panic attack!
JULY, dimas menghubungi gue lagi dan mau ketemuan, he even went to the airport. i went to australia accompanied by my mom, on 11th. it was so sad, but thank God, i have boti aileen and genggong :) bakal kangen banget sama michael, pastinya. i arrived in australia and well, it was sucks, i didn't like it, sepi banget dan dimas selalu temenin gue.
AUGUST, dimas' gone but i started to find my life even stiap hari masih nangisin dimas but it's a lot better. uni berjalan lancar, i met new friends: neil, cliff, yahya, nina, lisa, alana, and many others. they are all very nice. gue sibuk belajar dan i found a job! di tempat sushi, even gajinya kecil but i'm happy that i'm working :) ternyata kerja itu susah yaa. well, it's a good month.
SEPTEMBER, hidup gue penuh warna! i get used to it now, i get used to live in that blue gum house with new people, with new environment. get used to the subjects and i got good marks! work went well and got more salary. gue pun ngomong lagi sama dimas, well i texted him first and it ended nicely, we talked a lot. we looked like a couple now. we texted, we skyped, even during sleep :) he told me he loved me and i was so delightful to hear that, that i dumped a guy only for him. well, no one knows what happened on next month right?
OCTOBER, entah dia main tarik ulur atau apa, i don't know but i decided to back off. cinta itu ga harus memiliki dan cinta itu bahagia ketika melihat si yg dicintai bahagia, so yeaa i gave up. he deserves a better life without me, even it hurts. work's good and uni's good. i started to work out, go to the gym and swim with cliff. i have this bestie named Ping :) uni's good and i was close to another guy but well he was just a rebound guy and he knew it :)
NOVEMBER, my birthday is coming! woohoo, i'm 20 now, no more childness, be an adult. bulan ini, gue ujian cuy! untung ga susah2 amat, well thank God i felt better about dimas jadi bisa konsentrasi belajar and i have these friends who support me all the time. thank you, my friends :) i owe you much and i love you. dan bulan ini juga, kitty pulang! i met michael finally super seneng ya ampunn seneng amit amit seneng! bulan ini juga, gue ke uph, ktmu genggong super happy! ketemu boti dan aileen, ketemu dimas. tp kita diem2an dan ga ngomong, even oleh2nya pun gue titipin, but well it's better for us. but it's okay, i'm fine. bulan ini juga, michael menang lomba loh, well not exactly menang, tp dapet penghargaan yang didatengin sama presiden :D proud of you, my baby!
DECEMBER, last month of the year, my last 31 day of 2011. hidup gue membaik even gue sempet kangen bgt sma dimas, smpet found out that dimas had a girl he crushed on, but yeaa i'm okay :) i had a great fun with family in singapore and it really made my days! and and, it's christmas! christmas spirit woohoo, christmas itu adalah the most favorite moment of the year dan gue percaya akan adanya miracle d setiap natal. it may not be a visual thing, but i can feel something. something new and peace on me, yeapp i think i can move on, on dimas. i still love him, no matter what tapi gue uda lebih menerima kenyataan kalo dia dan gue itu sesuatu yang ga mungkin terjadi lagi, sekarang ataupun masa depan. gue juga merasakan miracle on michael, well he's a lot better now. dan filmnya dia uda di publish! smoga akan segera tayang di bioskop, amin.
see, 2011 aren't that bad, huh? walaupun ini tahun kehancuran gue, tahun dimana mungkin roda gue sedang ada di bawah but see, gue bisa kok bangkit and i will prove it, kalo emang gue bisa bikin roda gue naik lagi ke atas. kalo kata Romo Yohanes pas misa natal, it's not the environment that makes you happy, it's you :) Biarawati di Perancis waktu perang jaman dulu aja bisa bisanya loh masih nyanyi and worhsip Jesus, padahal uda mau dibunuh pake pisau apa itu lah yg ada huruf G G nyaa, masa gue yang cuma putus sama pacar nilai brantakan aja langsung mau bunuh diri ga punya semangat hidup? what a shame, christie!
Thank You God, for this 2011, memang banyak hal yg terjadi, i don't wanna remember this as my failure year, yes i want to forget this as my stupidity, but, i will remember this whole year, untuk pelajaran gue, supaya gue ga mengulangi kesalahan yang sama. Thank You Michael, Mommy, and Daddy. Thank You Genggong and my Sanurian besties :)
thank you 2011, it's a great pleasure to know you :)
xoxo
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