it's been a while haven' t been posting anything. There's lots of thing to tell.
first thing first, i am so proud of my brother, Michael Anthony. he got this award from a piano competition and he went to see the president! and the president was very proud of him, i am so so proud of him, the next day, Michael's was all on the news! woohooo :D
second, we went to singapore for a holiday trip :) it was a total fun, the universal studio, the shoppings, and food and the fat of course, i love it! especially how we spend our quality time together, without any internet connections and phones allowed.
third, michael is going to have another concert, hopefully in june or july, please anyone, i need the pray :)
fourth, the movie "Love Me As I Am" about autism children in Indonesia is launched already. One on the cast is michael, not too much about him though but the music background in the whole movie is played by michael :) woohoo
fifth, it's not the last well, cause december hasn't ended. this is more about myself and this is more about the sad than the happy. it's about him. after all of these whole love life story of mine, after all of these months, well, it has been 8 months i have been alone. what i can say is, i miss him and i still do love him. but thee words mean nothing for him, and he won't ever come back. i just knew that he's been very extremely close to this girl. well, i don't know if it's a friend friend feeling or what but they are extremely ga wajar very close. it's even closer than me and neil, well i am not jealous. this is no more jealousy. i am just sad. i don't know what i'm feeling. i don't know what this is. i'm tired of pretending that i'm okay without him while i'm not. i'm tired of tell myself not to cry. i'm tired of wearing these stupid masks!
i REALLY wish, i can go and stay in australia, i have my own new life there. i miss the place where i can be myself, where i can laugh till drop, cry as much as i want, listen to music as loud as it can, and drink until i get drunk! i really miss those feeling when i don't know what to do, then i run to neil's room, cry and call ping and also stil crying and ping will company me drink until i threw up! the next morning, i'll forget everything and i forget about dimas. i just miss him so bad. and i can't do anything, i even can't cry here. holy sh*t, please please someone take me home, to australia, please please. i'm so fucked up here! i need alcohol! arghhhh.
well well, i hope, that this christmas, he can give his heart to the right woman, who can give him happiness just like he always wanted. i'm sorry :( but i will always pray for him and it will never change. i always hope and believe on christmas miracles :) i get so so many christmas miracles this december through michael. it's been a miracle for me, and i hope he will also get his own miracle, whatever it is.
i love you, D :)
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