akhirnya setelah sekian lama gue slalu bilang i'll be fine. kali ini gue bisa bilang, i'm fine :) there are such changes towards me after i stop talking to dimas. it was a bad feeling at first but now, i can say i'm happier, i am a lot happier, and i am recovering. semoga ini ga cuma sebentar aja karena gue disini di dukung abis2an sama tmn2 disni, smoga gue jg tetep bisa recover even gue uda di indo dan terpaksa ktmu sama dimas.
well, tapi gue mulai menerapkan ke diri gue sendiri, satu hal yang paling penting. SMILE. smile, not with your lips, but with your heart :) it will make the problems seem to be better and it will make everything easier. it's so hard to stop talking to him, to live my life without him, but i said to myself that i have to smile and i have to be happy. my happiness is not him, i am the one who is responsible for my own happiness.
gue juga mulai bodo amat, ga terlalu mikirin sgala hal. dulu, gue mau clubbing aja, gue inget bgt, dimas blg jangan, gue nurut. gue mau ngbrol sama cowo, gue takut dimas marah. ada tmn gue mau ajak bgini, gue takut dimas ngomel. haha smuanya takut dimas ini, takut dimas itu. now? i don't care. this is my life, he doesn't a single business to say no or whatever. mungkin dia emang ga akan rempong lagi sama hidup gue, krn dia juga happier tanpa gue, tp gue yang terlalu takut untuk move on dan masih berharap untuk dia kembali, dengan mengorbankan kebahagiaan gue. dan karena itu, gue biss lebih lepas, bisa lebih sesuka hati gue, apa pun gue boleh lakuin selama ga merugikan diri gue.
i was so stupid, but now i have change. there are still lots of thing, much more important, than a love word. buka mata, hati, telinga :)
i am very glad that i can say, that i'm fine :)
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