Things are getting complicated right now. Today is the start of October, and i just realized this is the month that we should celebrate our first year anniversary. Well, I'm afraid to face that day actually. I'm still talking to him, after a few months not communicating at all. Last week, he told me how he's still in love with me and how he misses all these memories and feelings but we're not meant together. I don't really know what to say but what I know now that we still love each other, that we still care but we just pretend not to.
He told me he deleted my facebook and skype account and we may not talk again after this. The fact is that we are still talking until now. I'm so afraid, I'm so afraid to fall in love in him again one more time. I'm still in love with him but I just don't want this feeling to grow more and more. I'm so afraid that he'll leave me again and well, I need to fix myself first. I'm not good enough for him and he's not mature enough for me. So I guess it's better for us to look on ourselves first.
I don't wanna lose him, I wanna hold him forever, but I know what I'm doing now is only keeping him on ground, keeping him being dependable to me. I want him to be indepedent and I don't know what to do. It's so complicated. :(
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