Life is not Fair

Well, life is not fair, i will never be. There are so much thing that's happening to my life, which is becoming the reason why I'm saying such thing. Hidup itu engga semudah yang dilihat, dan hidup itu engga seperti yang dibayangkan kebanyakan orang. Hidup itu engga terjadi sesuai dengan apa yang diharapkan. Andai hidup itu semudah membalikkan telapak tangan.

Banyak impian yang pastinya ingin dicapai semua orang, contohnya hidup sukses, punya keluarga harmonis, pengen jadi dokter, dan lain lainnya. Banyak impian klise yang gua yakini dimiliki setiap orang, cuma kadang impian itu gabisa jadi kenyataan. Mungkin orang itu kurang berusaha, tapi mungkin juga, sekeras apa pun dia usaha, emang takdir ga mengijinkan itu untuk terjadi and that's exactly happening to me right now.

dari kecil, gua cuma mau jadi dokter gigi, dan yaa gua kurang berusaha untuk jadi dokter gigi, dan gua ended up belajar food technology. it's not really bad, at first, and i like it! gua belajar di uph, setelah sekian lama. everything was fine, until last semester, when i knew that's I'm the only one who's going to study in australia, for dual degree program. Semua impian gua berubah, dan semuanya seperti ga akan tercapai. I decided no to go to Australia for my bachelor degree, because of I think of Michael. Well, I didn't regret for what I chose, cause for these two years, I can see a lot of improvement of Michael, and I don't think it's going to be that fast if I'm not sacrificing my degree.

But now, I am in Australia already, for my dual degree program with UPH, having fun and feeling good with my study here. Gua berpikir untuk ga balik lagi ke indo, dengan berbagai macam alasan. Tapi karena berbagai alasan juga, I decided to kill my dream. Today, I talked to my friend and he told me about what I can do for my dream. I can actually drop the contract and sign up for bachelor in a uni here. Then I just apply my visa in the immagration and my uni back home does not have anything to do with it. It's my choice. I actually do not understand how the contract works but yeah I'd love to try. However, no one is supporting my decision, except my Ozzie's friend here.

I am tired of listening to other people and not listening to myself. I am tired of thinking about other people all the time, while I don't think about myself. I just wanna do what I want. I guess everyone in the world also wanna do that.

Please, life. Can you be fair to every single of us, just once? I am tired to live my life like this. I am very tired.

I Wish

It's maybe a post effect of my period. I am starting to be sensitive, again. There are things happening in this several weeks since I go back to Australia. I had so much fun that I can't explain by words. But somehow, deep down here, I feel lonely.

I don't regret what I do, and what I have chosen. I just, well I need some friends you know. I have these new friends, 3 Mexican girls. They are pretty, they are nice and smart. I love being around with them. When I'm with them, I feel like I'm having my long lost friend. Somehow, I am hoping that I am not the only UPH student who come here to study. I envy them, so much. They can have each other in the class. They can have each other to travel. They can have each other to shop. They can have each other to do whatever they want.

But me? I don't think anyone knows how I feel. I feel so lonely whenever I went to the class cause no one's talking to me. I am like an alien from other planet. They are different with my housemates. I feel stupid whenever the lecture ask me to do something, cause I don't really understand what's going on. Whenever I go or travel, I have to travel by my own self and I wish I can travel more. I only have few months here and I have spent the previous 4 months by only studying and make lots of friends in Blue Gum.

People never satisfy with what they have, that's kinda true. I want more. I want to travel. I wanna go to New Zealand, to Tasmania, to Melbourne, to Goldcoast. I wanna go everywhere but the thing is, I can't. I don't have time to and I don't have anyone to go with me, sounds stupid but yeah it's so pathetic.

I don't wanna come back to my country, I just wanna stay where I live. I want to do what I want. I just wish, I am not gonna be alone when I come back to finish my study. Such a pathetic life.

I just wish, and I really wish. It's only another 1.5 years and then, I can do whatever I wanna do.

I wish.

the february fairy tales

Happy Birthday Holly :D

Nelson Bay - Port Stephen

Mexican Girls with Pizza

Daniella - Christie - Dhillon

Dolphin Cruise Nelson Bay 

i stole his first kiss!

dinosaur pose

Masoud the Afgan

this is my february fairy tales i'm living after i arrive in ourimbah. starting with the orientation week, knowing new people around me. had international lunch and celebrated holly's birthday. i also had a lot of fun going to nelson bay to watch the dolphins! with the mexican girls and dhillon. we had BBQ dinner with the whole blue gum people and yes i wish i can always live in my fairy tales.

this is the life i wanna live. i will only have another 4 months left and i am willing to give my best to complete my dream, cause after this, i will be awake and even when i sleep, i may not find the same dream anymore.

Hello March :)

it's been a while i haven't written anything but yeaaa one thing i wanna say is, i'm having fun here in australia :)

there are lots of things happening lately and i just have made my resolution for this month. it's not exactly a resolution but it's more like a plan i wanna do this whole month. first thing,  need to finish my wedding planner course. i haven't started a course yet but i will, very soon, after everything's settled. second thing, i need to study more to achieve my new year resolution which is having High Distinction for all of my courses. and last, i think i need to focus more on my work, my family, and my good friends, and not letting anyone come and ruin my life again.

well i have been making a lot of mistakes last year and i think i just made several some mistakes again by letting some strangers come to my life and ruin it, so yea from now on, i have to choose what should i do and what shouldn't.

and, i think i need to put this into a statement, just for the motivation for me to remember, that it's better not to talk and not to be close with neil, because of what he had done to me.

so, hello March, and see you February :)

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

Pink - Fuckin' Perfect

Adam Levine - Stereo Hearts

Lady Gaga - Edge of Glory

These are several songs that I like. I saw these links from a friend of mine, and I am so in love with the piano, I'd love to ask my brother to copy all of this and play it for me! So excited :D

Second Day of New Year

I met my beloved Sanurian friends today, exactly on the second day of 2012. There should be more people to come but they suddenly have things to do so yeaa, it's only four of us, JeHa, JeSan, and Odey, having a culinary trip in Plaza Indonesia. What and expensive trip! However, it was a total fun, a definite fatty, and it's worthy :D

We started at Ten Ten, it's a tempura specialty restaurant. We had a tempura set with udon, all shared :)

Next stop is The Playground. The atmosphere is very nice, how they put the swings and it really looks like a playground. We had two main courses: Spagetti Aglio Olio and Red Cheese Dory! It was tasty and I'd love to come back. We also ordered two drinks, me and Jeha shared a glass of Princess Peach, while Jesan and Odey shared a glass of The Bully Ice Tea.

Third stop was Bistro Baron, it's basically a French Restaurant. We ordered half roasted chicken with mashed potato and salad, also two teapot of Chamomile and English Breakfast Tea.

Last stop, Cork and Screw. It's actually a wine shop, but it is also known as its dessert and we love dessert so bad! Let's see what we ordered :D

There should be another stop, for Baileys milkshake at The Goods Cafe but Odey had to go home earlier so we decided to just walk around and postpone the beverage until the next time we have culinary trip, hope so it's this Wednesday.

Thanks a lot for the fatty belly after all the food and beverages, and also, the laugh and love that we shared

<3<3

Hello 2012 :D

HELLO 2012 :D

selamat tahun baru semoga di tahun ini semuanya akan bertambah baik.

here I am, listing of my several targets that i hope it can be achieved during 366 days of 2012 :)

* two HDs and two Ds for my second semester in newcastle

* take diving lesson and get PADI license

* travel somewhere around australia, hope so for the february port stephens and april fiji island (finger crossed)

* work harder and get AUD$ 1000 before going home

* finish well my fasting for 40 days before Easter, no meat at all except Saturday and Sunday

* no more suicidal action

* make a concert for little baby Michael

* kerja praktek di aussie, very merry finger crossed and lulus sidang

* getting my grades back, IPK > 3.50 and IPS > 3.60, no matter what

* no more galau-ing with such unimportant things, for instance, love life

* maintain body weight, 50 kgs only til the end of the year

these are the list that i can think of, there will be more and more targets i will try to achieve by the time it goes.

once again, goodbye 2011 and hello 2012 :D

xoxo